Love Romances & More gave Butterfly Kisses 4 Hearts!
Love Romances & More gave Butterfly Kisses 4 Hearts!
Hang in to get past the commerical and watch the ABC video on the Las Vegas Cougar Convention
Someone asked Parade magazine how the term "Cougar" came to mean and older woman. Here is what the magazine replied:
"One popular story is that the term first showed up in the locker room of the Vancouver Canucks hockey team in the late 1980s, describing groupies of a mature vintage," says language expert Patricia T. O'Conner. "The usage was popularized in 2001, when Valerie Gibson wrote COUGAR: A GUIDE FOR OLDER WOMEN DATING YOUNGER MEN. Now there are dozens of online services devoted to matching 'cougs' with 'cubs.'"
Recently, I saw a talk show on which the host mentioned Cougar to the guest who likes younger men. She became a little irritated, stating she "hates the term and finds it degrading."
What about you? Do you find "Cougar" degrading?
Nothing is quite so rife with urban legend as a conference. When you think of a conference, for any line of work, you think of wild nights in bars, tête à tête amoureux in deserted meeting rooms, and scandals galore. Conferences are a time for setting aside reality and wallowing, for a time, in possibilities. This is especially true for the Cougar.
Late night drinking in the bars is always conducive to hooking up, especially when embraced in the anonymity of a hotel, hours from home, habit, and responsibility. At a romance convention all the usual rules go out the window. Age doesn't matter, background is unimportant, it doesn't matter if you share any interests, other than those of the moment. And when you pull together hundreds of healthy, older women who make a living writing about relationships and S.E.X...and add a bunch of hot, nubile, young cover model studs trying to woo and charm them in an effort to win the Mr. Romance title...well...I think you get where I'm going with that! And, let's face it, at a romance convention...it's all just considered research anyway! hehehe
So get on out there and prowl ladies, conference season is just heating up. You have months of good hunting ahead before the Winter snows slow you down! Plenty of time to catch a sexy cub to snuggle in front of a fire with when it gets too cold to prowl anymore. #:0)
Happy hunting ladies!
We're back! We had a great time at RT. I haven't gotten my photos off the camera yet, and I'm working against two deadlines this week, so for my post this week I thought I'd treat all you readers and writers out there to three of my favorite cubs. They are delectable... Enjoy!
Caco Ricci, age 31, and the inspiration for Jack in The Cowboy and the Cougar.
Emmanuel Delcour, age 29, glorious and French, and fresh from Bravo's Chef Academy. In the market for a private chef? Inspiration for Blaise in Passion in Paris.
Miguel Angel Silvestre, the baby of the bunch at age 27. Red wine, anyone? Maybe the inspiration for my next Cougar story... Proposal is coming, Celina!
Hey all -- I know this is my week to post, but my fellow cougars, Lizzie and Sam, and I are all at RT salivating over the young hunks here to participate in the 2010 Mr. Romance contest! We promise photos when we return.
In the meantime, check out Butterfly Kisses, Lizzie's new release at Aspen Mountain Press!
Susan Mayrah Clarke’s life has been fine without a man, so she’s unprepared for the sudden attraction to Tony when her son brings him home for Thanksgiving. Why did Scott have to bring home a cowboy that makes her wish she were twenty years younger? Unsure of what to do, Susan turns to the ladies of the Cougar Club group for advice.
Susan and Tony can’t resist the physical force that brings them together. Will the difference in their ages ruin their chance at love?
Recently, a reader on the Cougar Readers loop asked a question that got me thinking. She’s 10 years older than her spouse but he told her she couldn’t be a Cougar because she wasn’t rich. Which spawned the question, Are all Cougars rich? The short answer to this question is…nah! But the perhaps more accurate response is… it all depends on your perception. Because the Cougar is older, many times divorced or widowed, and generally a professional woman who’s been working for at least a couple of decades, she may own certain things that could be perceived as ‘riches’ to a young guy who’s just starting out in life.
Amenities such as a home, electronic toys, a nice car, and maybe a membership to a golf club could be perceived as wealth to a young guy who lives in a one room apartment, drives a dented truck, and whose only club membership is with Gold’s Gym.
Of course Hollywood skews the averages for the rest of us. The place is rife with wealthy Cougars. And obviously, a woman with tons of money can spend a lot of it doing what that bitch Mother Nature didn’t see fit to do for her. An unlined face, a slim belly and thighs, perky breasts…all of these things can be purchased if you have the money and the time to hide in your house while the tell-tale markings disappear.
Most of us don’t fit that category.
For those of us with only a normal amount of wealth. I’ll call us the Comfortable Cougars. We have to work a little harder for our perfection. And mostly we never really get there. But the good news is…when their libidos kick in, men barely notice what we look like anyway. It’s a physiological thing. Apparently the blood that races south affects their ability to see wrinkles, droops, and pudgy bits. #:0) Or maybe the male of the species, well known for his inability to multi-task, can only focus on 1 or 2 key areas of our anatomy at a time, and usually the hips, thighs, and belly don’t make first pick on the list of key areas.
Whatever it is, it’s just one more reason why men and women work well together despite the fact that our brains originated from different planets.
Hey, now that I think about it, maybe Mother Nature isn’t such a bitch after all!
Happy hunting ladies!
Attractive divorcee, Felicia Jeffries is turning 45 years old and her friends have dragged her to a male strip club to celebrate. She never guessed she’d find herself up on stage, dirty dancing with a sexy young dancer. Or that her body would scream for another chance to wrap itself around him.
Classy and shy, the last thing Felicia wants is to sit in a crowded bar with a bunch of drunk women, stuffing twenty dollar bills down the thongs of sexy young men on stage. The last thing she expects is to find herself incredibly drawn to one of those sexy young men. And the last thing she needs is to deal with the consequences.
But deal she will. Because the alternative is unthinkable...losing the heart and body of Bris Holcomb, uber-sexy exotic dancer, popular yoga instructor, and the man who’s grabbed her heart and won’t let go.
He settled Sis onto her bed with little apparent effort. Felicia slid her friend’s shoes off and covered her with the throw she kept on the bottom of her king-sized bed. When she turned away she was standing way too close to him. Mere inches. His breath bathed her face in sweet warmth.
He smelled like mint with an underlying scent of beer.
“Thank you so much for helping me get her home.” The words clenched in her throat and came out as a breathless whisper. She sounded like the worst kind of tease.
He reached toward her and slid an errant dark curl from her face. “It was my pleasure.”
Felicia sucked air and tried to take a step back, but Sis’ damn island-sized bed was in the way.
He moved an inch closer.
She could smell his heat, taste his scent. Her mouth watered.
“You’re a very beautiful woman.”
“I’m too old for you.”
He smiled. “Not a chance.”
Felicia stepped sideways . “You should leave now.”
His smile slid away. “You’re right. I absolutely should.” He lifted one hand in a wave and turned away, striding quickly from the room.
Felicia had a sudden, nearly irrepressible urge to go after him. In fact she took a step toward the door. But she stopped herself before she could start running.
Her body clenched with sudden need and she sat down hard on the edge of the bed. Her lungs were tight and she couldn’t breathe. Her palms were sweating. She hadn’t had this type of reaction to a guy for decades. Maybe never.
Felicia Jeffries, you are a shameless hussy!
Felicia grinned. She hadn’t heard her grandma’s voice in her head for years. Not since she’d stopped taking chances and risks and become the good little wife and mother.
It was kind of nice to have her back.
So I was surfing the net looking for something to write about for this week's post when I came across a website -- www.cougarandthecub.com. It looks fairly new and is still undergoing construction in some areas, but what I saw so far I like! Run by a 44 year old woman named Dawn in New York, the site is a members-only club and will "provide a fresh and honest perspective to those who seriously want to explore this lifestyle." There's even a "Singles Mingles" page where cougar/cub events will be listed. Dawn is also working on a book about her experiences as a cougar.
Of course, I decided to contact Dawn to see if she might be willing to do an interview or a guest blog for us here at The Cougar Club. On the "Contact Us" page I found the two quotes that inspired today's post title:
"Cougars are NOT Stiletto-Stalking Sugar Mamas with BOTOX® & Boob-Jobs."
"Cubs are not Boy-Toys looking to 'Bag a Cougar', 'Bang a M.I.L.F.' or land a Sugar Mama."
Yes, those two sentences spoke to me more than anything else on the site, to be honest. Hollywood often depicts cougar/cub relationships otherwise. If you've read my Cougar Club story, The Cowboy and the Cougar, you know that Holly and Jack are nothing like the stereotypical cougar and cub. No fake boobs for Holly, and Jack could care less about banging a MILF. They are real people with real problems, just like real-life cougars and cubs.
I applaud Dawn for what she's doing with her book and her website, and I hope we'll see her here at The Cougar Club soon!
To prove there’s life after Tim, she spends a lot of time with “just friend” entrepreneur Jonathan Bricklin who is 31 years her junior. She also seems to have picked up one of his hobbies, ping-pong. When PEOPLE asked Jonathan if he’s coaching her on the game, he said, "She's not that good yet," he responded, "She's actually pretty good for a girl."
Both deny there’s anything between them beyond friendship, but if given a chance, Jonathan appears to be interested in more. After all, a lot of the tabloids think she looks pretty darn good for 63, and so apparently does Jon.
A recent article quoted Susan, "I hate to sound like the old hippie that I am, but I think that even the bad stuff can turn into good stuff," she says. "Every day is a miracle, right?"
Could she be referring to the split with Tim and her new connection with Bricklin?
Trying to figure out if you should follow your heart’s desire and hook up with the cute cub you met in the squash section of the supermarket? Maybe we can help.
Ten Reasons to Date a Younger Guy…
- Younger men have energy, and an excitement for life that older men have often lost.
- Young guys can be less judgmental. The young pride themselves on being open to all possibilities.
- There are generally no strings, it’s all about living in the moment.
- The sex is frequent and energetic.
- Young men are strong and can be taught to do what you like, in bed and in life.
- They introduce you to new experiences you might never have tried otherwise.
- Women are still young and vibrant in our forties and fifties, while men can start slowing down, especially sexually. Sometimes our interest levels are better matched to younger men.
- Men our age often look for younger women, so it makes sense demographically for older women to hook up with younger men.
- Younger men don’t expect you to conform to any stereotypes, they tend to take you at face value.
- You won’t get your pill box mixed up with his!
…and Ten Reasons Not To.
- Younger men have energy, and sometimes you just want to settle in a chair with a glass of wine and a good book.
- Young guys can be less judgmental, but they can be brutally honest.
- There are generally no strings, it’s all about living in the moment.
- The sex is frequent and energetic…but not necessarily thoughtful and satisfying.
- Young men tend to be more self-involved than their older counterparts, so they may resist your attempts to train them up.
- They introduce you to their goofy friends. Without the sexual attraction to blunt the experience, youth can be just plain annoying.
- Women are still young and sexually vibrant in our forties and fifties, but outside of the bedroom we have totally different interests from our cubs’.
- Men our age often look for younger women. Younger men just look for any woman, as many as they can snag, so they have very short attention spans.
- If you’re the jealous type, you’ll go mad when you see him talking to that cute honey with the pert boobs and butt who’s half your age!
- Young guys will never ask you to clip their nose hairs for them!
I hope that helped, but if it didn’t, I hope it at least entertained! Har!
Happy hunting, Ladies!
It was the film that made Dustin Hoffman a household name. 1967's The Graduate offered up one of the most famous cougar/cub relationships in existence. But in reality, sexual relationships between older women and younger men have been going on for a long time.
1533-1603 -- Queen Elizabeth I lusted after after several of her young courtiers. History doesn't tell us whether any of these passions were consummated, but heck, she was the Queen! She probably got a little.
1726-1796 -- Catherine the Great enjoyed a string of younger male companions, with the age difference ranging as high as 40 years. Nicely done, Empress Catherine!
1893-1980 -- Mae West loved men of all ages.
1920 -- Novelist Colette scandalized Paris by, among other things, having an affair with her stepson.
1950 -- Sunset Boulevard portrays the killer cougar! Joe Gillis (William Holden) tells Norma Desmond (Gloria Swanson) to get over herself, because "there’s nothing tragic about being fifty."
1971 -- Harold and Maude takes the cougar/cub thing just a little too far, in my humble opinion.
1983 -- Mary Tyler Moore wed Dr. Robert Levine, a cardiologist 15 years her junior, and they're still going strong today!
1986 -- Cher made headlines with her intense affair with actor/bartender Rob Camilletti, a cubby 22 to her 40. Gotta love her!
1991 -- Elizabeth Taylor married construction worker Larry Fortensky, 20 years her junior. Of course, this union didn't last any longer than her others, but that probably had more to do with the fact that they met in rehab than their ages.
1998 -- While Kim Cattrall's alter ego, Samantha on Sex and the City, engaged in sexy cougar/cub affairs, Kim was enjoying relationships with younger men off-screen as well.
2002 -- Joan Collins married fifth husband Percy Gibson, a whopping 32 years her junior. Here's hoping we all look that good in our seventies!
2009-2010 -- Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins call it quits, but Demi and Ashton are still going strong!
To continue along the path that Sam Cheever started down last week, ladies I discovered some suggestions on ways to prepare to meet the Cub of your dreams. A number of them are from an article by Karen Cotton on How to Meet Younger Men, as well as a couple of discoveries I made when I was single a few years ago.
To start off, Karen talks about how to dress.
“While you may be looking for a younger man, it is important to maintain your dignity and be true to yourself. This is essential if you are looking for a long term relationship. When selecting your clothing, avoid dressing in clothes designed for teens. Instead, opt for classic cut pieces which ooze sensuality.”
This translates into…classy, not trashy, if you’re looking for more than a one-night stand.
Not all Cougar/Cub connections happen in bars.
“Make your presence known among the younger crowd by frequenting places where young men hang out. Fitness clubs, sports bars and clubs offer you a wide variety of young, unattached men as well as the chance to take in a game or get fit. If you feel uncomfortable going in alone, invite a friend to join you!”
My idea...also, consider taking a ballroom dance class if you don’t know how to dance. This was something I did for myself when a couple of years after my husband’s passing, I decided to get on with my life. The class had men of all ages and two of the guys expressing interest in me were…you guess it…Cubs. Both were fun, interesting guys, but we were all doomed to only friendship when a I was introduced to the friend of one of my female classmates. I learned later it was a fix up. He was quite a bit younger than her and she decided the two of us were perfect for each other. She was right!
Sam had some information on this last week in her blog, and Karen confirms the Internet is a good place to consider.
“Place profiles on internet dating sites which state that you are looking for a younger man. Many will allow you to search specific age groups, so you can set your age limit. Some dating sites specialize in younger men and older women.”
Another opportunity is an area that is “in” with the dating world on all age levels.
“ Contact hosts of speed dating events in your town. Some have been designed specifically for the older woman/younger man, or cougar/cub relationship.”
Some of Karen’s Internet site suggestions to check out.
Cougar DatingThe #1 Dating Site for Cougars Join Free & View 1000s of ProfilesCougarLife.com
Older Women Younger MenOlder Women Seeking Younger Men. 100% Free. Join Now!www.DateACougar.com
Date Older WomenMeet A Sexy Mature Woman Tonight 1000s of Local Results. Search Now!www.MatureMatchOnline.com
Hope these suggestions help and you find the relationship you’re seeking.
You might be interested in the following fun and interesting Cougar news:
- Did you know that Canadian Olympic Curler Cherly Bernard is a Cougar?
- Based on things such as the popularity of prime time television shows like Cougar Town and the reality dating series, The Cougar, as well as the growth of Cougar relationships in society, Newsweek magazine dubbed 2009 the Year of the Cougar.
- In December 2009, Carnival Cruises launched its cruise ship Elation on its first-ever International Cougar Cruise. The cruise was organized by The Society of Single Professionals and Singles Travel Company and included over 2,000 cruisers, creating such demand for bookings the company had to hire two additional part time employees just to answer the phones.
- Featuring the gorgeous men of the Chippendales, the first ever Cougar Convention will be hitting Las Vegas in late 2010! Stay tuned for more details!
- Dating and matchmaking organizations are now offering services targeted specifically for Cougar matches. Serious Matchmaking Inc. was recently profiled by CNN because of its “Cougar Nights”. “Because this event has been so astronomically in demand,” says Janis Spindel of Serious Matchmaking, “I may have to start a new business division called ‘Cougar looking for the boy toy.”
- The website urbancougar.com caters to Cubs and Cougars, even providing state-by-state listings of popular bars where cougars are frequently on the hunt.
- Why do younger men like dating older women? Basically for the same reasons younger women date older men. They like the sexual and emotional confidence of older women, their independence, and the power they gain from the match. Why do older women like dating younger men? Well duh! #:0)
- What should be your favorite alcoholic beverage if you’re a Cougar? Smirnoff would like it to be their vodka. They’ve been actively pursuing the middle aged women segment with ads that imply vodka is the drink of Cougars.
- Famous Cougars? Some of these might surprise you: We all know about Demi Moore and Mrs. Robinson #:0) But did you know Queen Elizabeth the first was a Cougar, marrying a man over thirty years her junior? Here are some others you might not know about: Katy Couric, Cher, Paula Abdul, Evana Trump, Susan Sarandon, Naomi Watts, Halle Berry Madonna, Anna Wintour (editor-in-chief of American Vogue), and Genevieve Jones.
- To watch interesting videos about Cougar women and the lifestyle, check out: http://thecougarchannel.blogspot.com
Thanks for stopping by!
When the lovely Lizzie T. Leaf first approached me about writing a story for Aspen Mountain Press's Cougar Club series, I jumped at the opportunity. Older woman/hot younger man? Count me in, baby! I envisioned a hip story with lots of teasing and good old-fashioned bump and grind sex.
My characters had their own ideas, though. Jack and Holly took over the story, and when The Cowboy and the Cougar was complete, it bore little resemblance to what I had imagined. Except for the sex -- that was there. It's still a Helen Hardt story after all :).
But I wasn't sure it was right for the series. So I conferred with Lizzie who conferred with the Editor-in-Chief at AMP. They decided they wanted to see the story, and within a few weeks they decided to contract it. My editor, Celina, also gave it good reviews, but still I worried. Would Cougar readers want to hear about the issues Jack and Holly faced?
I've been amazed at how well the book has been received. Reviews have been stellar. Terri at Night Owl Romance gave it 5/5 and a Reviewer Top Pick. She said, "...The warm feelings that I got from reading it just didn’t want to go away."
I learned a valuable lesson. Cougars and cubs are hot, hot, HOT, but sometimes they have real problems and need to find real solutions. If you're an author, have you written a cougar story? Tell us about it. If you haven't, are you thinking about writing one? For authors and readers, what appeals to you about cougar/cub relationships?
Yes, I'm back...exhausted, but back!
On a two week cruise you can get to know some interesting people and it's safe to say I did. The most interesting were the ladies seated at our table. Would you believe four ladies all in their eighties...that's right...all 80+. And let me tell you this group could roar!
One of them entered the talent contest for the passengers and came out number one. When the MC offered her the choice of the trophy or the young man (he was a hottie!) who escorted her on stage, she took his arm and said let's go. The MC stood there with his mouth open, holding the trophy before he finally managed to tell her come back for an exchange. The young good looking guys on the ship were in danger from this one. She had no qualms about pinching, hugging or smooching. When I asked if she was a Cougar, she looked at me and just grinned.
One of the other ladies...this one is 83 and still works because she loves her job...told me when she wanted a second child and her husband said no, she divorced him and played house with a younger man with whom she had the wanted child. No grass growing under this lady's feet.
The other two ladies were widows, but they know a good thing when they see it. One had to fan herself when she talked about a young Italian stud she met earlier that day.
Yep, these four are role models for the rest of us. Goes to show one never gets too old to ROAR. So get out there and let them hear you ladies!